VICTIM BLAMING

HOW TO IDENTIFY AND PREVENT

WHAT IS VICTIM BLAMING?

When one places the victim of a crime or wrongful act at fault for the wrongful act that was done to them. This is extremely prevalent in cases of domestic violence, sexual assault, drug assault, and rape.

PREVENTING VICTIM BLAMING

EDUCATE

Educating medical staff on what victim blaming is and how to identify it is key. If you see medical staff asking personal questions in a way that could be associated with victim blaming kindly pull them aside and ask them about it. In this case it is better safe than sorry. This can cause major secondary trauma to the victim and put them at further susceptibility of PTSD.

ADDRESSING PARENTS AND FRIENDS

  • If you see a parent or friend blaming the victim address it with them apart from the victim.

    • Example in an Unintentional Victim Blaming Case:

      • “Can I pull you aside for a second I just need to follow up on a few things with you.”

      • “It is clear this is such a hard situation and you really care about ______. Sometimes in these situations when you say ______ even though it is coming from a caring place it can be received in a blameful way, maybe in the future instead you could say something like this _____.”

    • Example in an Intentional Victim Blaming Case:

      • “Can I pull you aside for a minute I just need to follow up on a few things with you.”

      • “_____ has just undergone a lot of trauma and I can sense you are frustrated and upset. This is not only a difficult situation for them but for you too, I can’t imagine. I wonder if together we could brainstorm some ways to help _____ and support them best, would that be okay with you?”

HOW TO ADDRESS MEDICAL STAFF

  • If you see a member of medical staff speaking to the victim in a way that blames the victim, intervene or pull the medical staff member aside and address it. We are aware that addressing a doctor can be intimidating given the power dynamic that is typical of hospitals. However, this is so important and can be a learning moment rather than a pointing fingers moment.

    • With the Victim Present

      • Intervene and Reframe: “I think what he/she means to ask is…”

    • Without the Victim Present

      • Identify and Educate: “When you asked_____ or said _______, I think it could have been received in a blameful way towards the victim and I know that is probably not your intention, in the future maybe rephrase or preface your question in this way ____.”

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

When asking a victim questions about their experience, phrasing the questions in a way that places the blame of what happened on the victim versus the perpetrator.

In a situation where a victim was assaulted the following are some examples of phrases associated with victim blaming:

  • “What were you wearing?”

  • “How many drinks had you had?”

  • “Did you fight back?”

  • “What did you expect, you were sending them mixed signals.”

  • “Why did you go with them in the first place?”

It is also crucial to consider the tone you use when speaking with the victim. Your tone and phrasing have large implications and can effect how messages are received.

PHRASING IN AN EFFECTIVE WAY

In a medical situation where one is simply trying to gather necessary medical information we understand some questions such as, “how much alcohol have you consumed,” can be necessary. However, being aware of how you phrase sensitive questions and your tone is important. Here are some tips on phrasing those hard questions and how to ask them.

  • Address the hard questions up front and preface you are not there to blame them but to understand

    • Example: “Before we move forward in this process together I need to ask you some difficult questions. I want you to know that I am not asking these questions with blame or judgement. These are just questions I have to ask to get a better understanding of what happened, is that okay with you and do you have any questions for me before we start?”

    • When you give this preface use a tone that is CSS (calm, soft, and slow). The victim has undergone trauma and speaking to them in a loud, quick, or harsh tone may cause distrust and frustration. We understand in the medical field you are likely handling multiple cases at once and it may be easier to speak quickly and run through procedure. However, taking an extra second to speak slow and soft ensuring the victim understands and feels seen is crucial.